The Baseball Game
by AnimeWrestlingDonuts
Summary: It's a family trip to a baseball game and romance is in the air! Sadly Arthur doesn't see it that way. Will this story end with France and England finally hooking up or is America going to be England's sexy hero?
1. It begins

Disclaimer - All Hetalia characters are owned by **Hidekaz Himaruya. **The Mets and Red Sox are owned by their respective owners.

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It was a beautiful sunny day. The Mets were against the Red Sox and everyone was going wild. Everyone except France and England. The two European countries were drugged, bound, and gagged. Not in that order. And smuggled into the baseball game by their beloved son America. When they finally broke free from the bondage they realized they could not escape. Fat, hairy, and shirtless men blocked their path. All cheering viciously for the Mets. So for nine innings France and England had to watch the atrocious sport.

Every so often a hand would caress Arthur's thigh. Arthur decided to ignore it; Francis would eventually get bored of touching him. After a while though Arthur finally had enough and told the bloody git to wank off. He was surprised to find it was America groping him. Flabbergasted Arthur turned to Francis and pointed dramatically.

"I thought, you, him, BLOODY HELL!?!"

"What is wrong Angleterre?"

"I was just molested by America. That damn prat."

"Ha, ha, ha you know you liked it!" chipped in America.

"He must have learned this behavior from you." accused Arthur.

"Don't look at me. You were the one that raised him."

"Me? You were the one who couldn't keep his hands off me! Now he must think I'm some kind of sex toy."

"But Mon Cheri, you are a sex toy. _My_ sex toy."

"Bloody wanker."

Before Arthur and Francis could continue their pissing match, something unexpected happened.

"Check out the jumbotron some moron is proposing!" shouted a random Red Sox fan.

"Wha?" The three blonde countries focused their eyes on the jumbotron.

On the giant screen of the jumbotron was the most stunning thing Arthur had seen in a long time. America was on the screen spread eagle with the words; marry me, covering his genitals. In total shock Arthur could not turn away…until Alfred got on his knees and proposed the traditional way. He had a diamond ring in one hand and a triple meat baconator cheeseburger in the other.

"Will you Arthur Kirkland marry me Alfred F. Jones, the world's greatest hero?"

The great country England was speechless, still not recovering from the shock. The crowd began chanting, "SAY YES, SAY YES." Even the fairy tale creatures were considering the advantages of being married to America. But one beautiful blond man stood his ground about England not marrying the burger devouring country.

And that country was…Canada.

"Mama you can't marry brother, then you would be cheating on papa."

"Uhm…who are you again?"

"…I am FUCKING CANADA. C-A-N-A-D-A. And in my country incest is forbidden. I will not allow you to break papa's heart or your morals!"

After the 2010 Winter Olympics Mathew must have found himself a pair of balls. Sadly Alfred didn't seem to notice.

"Who cares about Mathew I was the one who won the most medals in the Winter Olympics. As for France, he sucks."

"I do not suck; if anything I'm the one being sucked. If you know what I mean." Francis raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

"Hey you can't say that here! There are children present." yelled an enraged mother.

"Ma'am I know your son. Trust me he is not a child. He's a man now!"

"Ugh you French bastard!"

The angry mom threw her hot dog at the Frenchman. He caught it gracefully between his lips.

"Hey pay attention to me! I'm the hero and I want to marry England. He is my uke!" pouted Alfred.

"As if Mon Cheri is _my _uke."

"Nay, I am not a uke to either of you. What the bloody hell is a uke? Whatever it is I am not a uke." denied Arthur.

"Aw, so cute! Uke denial." Swooned Alfred and Francis. Arthur glared at them.

"Canada what is this "uke" that they speak of?"

"It means you "receive" gifts on Christmas instead of "giving" gifts."

"What?"

"You are on the bottom."

"The bottom of what I don't understand."

"You are the woman of the relationship."

"If anyone is the woman it would be Francis. He's the effeminate one."

Canada sighed.

"…you take it up the butt."

"…is that some kind of metaphor?"

Suddenly across the border Japan's yaoi senses activated, because all Asians have yaoi senses. Kiku swiftly took out his iphone and called Arthur.

"A uke gets sodomized by the seme's penis."

"...Thank you...Kiku."

"You are very welcome."

After hanging up Arthur turned back to Francis and Alfred. Looked them straight in the eyes and said, "You are both despicable."

"That's not what you said last night." replied Francis slyly.

"France I don't know why you're being such a chatty cathy but I'm trying to get paid and laid. So stop cock blocking the hero." Intervened Alfred.

"Paid and laid. What the hell?" cried an appalled England.

"If I marry England my economy will suck less. And because we are getting married we will have to consummate. Meaning we are going to have good old American fun. Hence the phrase, paid and laid."

"Alfred that makes no sense. Why would getting married to me make your economy better?" Arthur was getting a migraine. Francis put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Let me handle this." France cleared his throat. "I don't care, Angleterre is my lover and I will be the one marrying him. Besides I have more experience in pleasure. You only have the ability to get **fat**."

Alfred gasped. "Fat, I am so not fat. You whore!"

"Slut"

"Douche"

"Motherfucker."

"Son fucker."

"I'm surprised Alfred. Why would I make love to Mathew?"

"Because your a whore!"

"I'm the whore? You're the whore! You give it out like candy during Halloween. Spain, Japan, Vietnam, Russia, even Cuba! You can't get enough di-"

"Stop, just stop." Alfred's eyes were pouring rivers of tears. "The hero doesn't want to hear anymore."

" You arsehole, you made him cry." Arthur embraced Alfred, letting the younger country bury his drenched face into his shoulder. "Apologize. Now."

"Bu-"

"Francis Bonnefoy, apologize to Alfred this instant." The Brit glared daggers at Francis. The Frenchman had really hurt his precious former colony.

Francis glared back. He was tired of playing second fiddle to the loudmouthed North American country.

"You always choose Alfred over me, Arthur. If you want to baby him for all eternity, fine. That's your problem. If anyone is the son fucker, it's you."

"Francis."

"Non! Je te quitte."

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To be continued. DUNDUNDUN

Je te quitte = I'm leaving you

Will Arthur run after Francis? Will he marry Alfred? Who knows! Read the next chapter to find out.

FYI I have nothing against baseball, the Mets, or the Red Sox.

Thanks for reading. And merci beaucoup for those that review! lol beacoup and review rhyme.


	2. It's all over now

Disclaimer - All Hetalia characters are owned by **Hidekaz Himaruya. **The Mets and the World Series are owned by their respective owners.

I want to send my love to 32nightlights for reviewing. I also want to give cookies to HanichanTwili and .ninja for subscribing.

Please enjoy~

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France left the crowded stadium almost in tears. The Frenchman would not show weakness to his most hated enemies, America and England. Why should he care if England wanted to be America's bitch.

He'll just find his own bitch. A sexier bitch than England. Maybe Germany. Francis thought long and hard. Then a light bulb appeared above his head.

"No, not Germany. Greece. Yes, the tan, cat loving Greek would make a great lover."

People began to stare at France because he unknowingly was talking out loud.

Meanwhile at the stadium, World War III was going off in Alfred and Arthur's mouth.

Their tongues locked in a battle for power and dominance. America was determined to introduce his tongue to every inch of England's mouth.

Oddly enough no one was watching them make out. The only person that noticed was Canada. He was clutching Kumajirou by the neck in fear. It looked like England and America were hurting each other. They were just kissing really intensely.

Back outside of the stadium, France realized that no matter how amazing the sex would be with Greece, it would not be fantastically orgasmic enough to make Francis forget about Arthur.

France was in love with England, even if England was a horrid cook and a sarcastic know it all. America loved England too. France saw the way America looked at England. His blue eyes filled with admiration and yearning. Francis knew that Arthur loved Alfred. He just did not know how much. Did Arthur like Alfred as a son or something more?

Either way France had to be with England. Francis was starting to get blue balls.

Francis took out his portable and called a certain emerald eyed brit.

Alfred broke away from the kiss. Something was vibrating. The source of it was coming from Arthur's pants. It felt nice.

"Is there a phone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" said Alfred while wiggling his eyebrow.

"I believe it is my phone, America." answered Arthur.

England checked his phone and saw it was France. Since Arthur was in a generous mood he answered the phone. Arthur felt bad that Francis stormed off. He cared dearly for the Frenchman. Francis was definitely better than the food loving China or his asshole siblings. Just because he had fairy tale creature friends does not mean that he has imaginary sex with fairies.

Fairies are very pious creatures that are pure and lovely. Plus fairies are tiny. Who wants to have sex with a 5 inch humanoid demon angel with wings? A hand would be a more logical and convenient decision. Not that England would ever think about having sex with a fairy.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity England answered the phone. Francis was ecstatic.

"Bonjour Arthur! I have called to tell you that I have had a change of hard on…wait, heart, heart. I have had a change of heart!"

Arthur raised a bushy eyebrow. Of course France didn't see him raise his eyebrow because they were talking on the phone.

"It seems you have, Francis. So are you going to apologize to Alfred?"

"Non, je vais te faire l'amour."

"What?"

"I believe in your language it translates into make up sex."

"Oh, well that is reasonable. But sadly we are apart so there is no possible way we can have sex."

England smirked to himself. Cockblocking Francis was Arthur's hobby.

Just then France dropped from the sky like a missile of love. He then proceeded to snog England passionately.

America found love and comfort with Japan. Kiku had conveniently arrived in a helicopter because he is badass.

Poor Canada was all alone except for the tiny polar bear in his arms.

But no one cared because the Mets just extended the World Series to a seventh game because Bill Buckner missed the ball between his legs. And that resulted in the Mets winning the 1986 World Series.

The End

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Thank you for reading~


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